Live Concerts: Why they should be online-only

By Intern 2 September 1, 2013 10:45am Comments Off

Greetings, MyMusicians! It’s no surprise that out of all the members of the staff, I am the one to take the rainy day when invited to a concert. It’s not that I am afraid to go or don’t like the music (ok so most times out of ten I have no clue who the musician is that is performing), it’s that I believe that the future of the concert will be online-only. Peaking over Idol’s desk, I saw her preparing to watch what seemed to be a musical concert series called the Made In America Festival live online! I had no interest in who were the acts, but the idea sprung a creative nerve in my body. Why couldn’t all concerts be like this?

Now I’m sure all of you have different personal opinions. On one side, you may be thinking “Intern 2, you must be loony bins for thinking that! How could you come to that conclusion?” or “Intern 2, I agree wholeheartedly, but explain to me why this is the case through a comprehensive article.” No fear everyone! I will let you know exactly why concerts should remain solely online.

Concerts are dirty. If there’s something that’s assured it’s that concerts are terrible places to take freshly ironed button-ups and perfect places to bring bottles of Windex and paper towels. Now I know that the counter argument is that although outdoor concerts may be dirty, what about indoor concerts? Sorry for the bubble burst, but what about spilled drinks? What about shoes that have brought in outside garbage? Yes, the beginning of the concert may be up to standard, but hold on to your handkerchief when the curtains finally close. With online concerts, the only fear of mess is potentially knocking over my mug of room temperature coffee onto my keyboard. One swipe of a paper towel and I’m alright!

Tissues! Paper Towels! Baby Wipes! Stat!

Concerts are crowded. Nothing’s worse than having to reserve elbow room at a concert. People get rambunctious at these events, even treating each other like trampolines! No thank you! Why deal with 400 smelly people, when it can be just me? I can work on other fun things while waiting online for the concert, from filling in quarterly reports to reorganizing my E-coupon email folders. What do I get a live concert? Pushing, shoving, and a whole lot of misery!

Ugh…..I feel claustrophobic.

Concerts are loud. Why is there no volume control at live concerts? I can only merely get closer to the stage or further and even then, it’s above a respectable decibel level. Online, I can keep my levels at a comfortable 28% and keep my eardrums intact for the foreseeable future.

Not necessary for online concerts!

Concerts are expensive. Now I know this may be a complaint for even fans of live concert, but really! The amount of savings you could have watching it online is immense! Use that money for something useful like opening up a new checking account or updating your air freshener collection! I, personally, would save the money, and use it to purchase the next version of Quicken Loans. 2014 edition!!!