How to know the perfect garden hose to buy!


Oh, it feels like I haven’t been able to do an article on something I DO know in ages. Idol’s been overloading me with completing reviews for Lady Gaga, Jay-Z,  and all sorts of other musicians I’ve never listened to. Well, technically now I have heard their music, seeing that I had to actually listen to them to review them, but I still couldn’t make out the difference between them on the radio. I know that everyone has been waiting for this article, so I’ll just cut to the chase, and get to hosin’!


First of all, before choosing your garden hose, you have to know what will you be using the hose for primarily? Will you use it to water your grass and flowers? Will you use it to water your car? Will you use it to fill up your pool? Personally, watering Aunt Beverly’s petunia patch would get pretty wily with her old hose (Water leakage? Oh my!). That’s why having the right garden hose can make your garden, pool, or car from Armaggedon to I’m a gettin’ a deal!


There are 4 types of garden hoses, which I’ve listed below along with their pros and cons that should help you narrow your search:


Pros: The classic garden hose design, comes in three level of ply (OPTIONS!!!), easy to find, affordable

Cons: The higher the ply, the more expensive, can get easily tangled (no fun!)



Pros: Has tiny holes which allow water to be sprayed across its entire length, good for watering large areas, long lasting

Cons: Standing near one as you turn it on, it sprays EVERYWHERE



Pros: The end of the hose is designed to fit in a sink faucet allowing for more options, come with great accessories including decorative patio hose holders, are usually quite long.

Cons: I’ve never needed to use a hose for anywhere near my sink. Well actually there was this one time I was building a collage of used coupons and a breeze came in blowing the glue-smeared coupons across my floor. Probably could’ve used it then.



Pros: Lightweight, easy to store, doesn’t roll around on the ground

Cons: None! WINNER!


Spoiler alert! I do indeed have a flat garden hose, which for me has been both efficient and helpful compared to the old one I used at Aunt Beverly’s. Let me know in the comments below if this aided you in your decision or if you want me to write more helpful articles like this!


248 thoughts on “How to know the perfect garden hose to buy!

  1. Jan Baryła

    That was a great article to read, even though I don’t even have a garden 🙂

    I was thinking that maybe in the future you could write an article about hair. The school year is coming and I’m sure many people would benefit from your tips on how to keep your haircut practical and classy at the same time. Plus some additional paragraph on sideburns – I’ve been trying to grow them by myself but it’s not that easy. Do you use any conditioner? Please, don’t shut up and think about my suggestion, Intern 2 🙂

  2. soawesomeally

    Shut up intern 2!! Haha I’m just kidding, the article was pretty interesting, even though I don’t have or need a garden hose. I think you should work with Scene to make an article about the music that you like and dislike, and maybe you can make a flow chart about it since you lovee them! Plus the article would help everyone underatand both you and Scene’s music tastes! Thanks!

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