Sink Me Baby, One More Time!

Usually Britney Spears and the word awesome are as far apart away from each other as possible. After the most recent news regarding her, though, the two may have inched a little closer to each other. Apparently, Britney Spears’ music doesn’t only annoy the crap out of me, it’s being used as an actual weapon against Somali Pirates! Wait, what?

That’s right. A weapon of mass destruction has nothing on the years of crap that is Britney Spears’ discography. Apparently, the Somali pirates can’t stand Western culture or music and Britney’s music seems to be the new kill switch. According to reports from the naval fleets utilizing this strategy, they barely ever have to fire a bullet when they blast the music, as the pirates tend to just flee away. So yeah, it’s kind of cool like I said in the beginning, but the fact that these pirates think that BRITNEY SPEARS IS THE REPRESENTATIVE OF ALL THINGS IN WESTERN CULTURE AND MUSIC makes me furious.

Britney Spears is in no way representative of the whole of Western Culture!!!! I wish these pirates fled because her music is just plain TERRIBLE not because it represents Western Culture. ARGH!!!! Now when everyone thinks of the U.S., they think red, white, blue, and Britney! This is terrible news!

Of course, if the music did nothing to them, I’d be even more surprised. Heck, if someone was blasting Britney Spears’ music from their house, I’d turn around before I figured out what the hell Britney accidentally did again (but then again, who cares?). You wanna scare some people for good? Play them some gnarly death metal! Only the most powerful of minds can sustain its awesome guitar wizardry! Of course, It wouldn’t be the first time metal’s been used as a weapon. If you guys remember, Metallica was even on a terror playlist played for people before they got interrogated by the Navy Seals. Nowadays, their recent music has the same effect on me as it did to those who were interrogated.

BRITNEY SPEARS ISN’T A REPRESENTATIVE OF WESTERN CULTURE, PIRATES! Of course, if we played them some amazing old-school Black Sabbath, they’d probably never lead. Good music has no boundaries.