Hey y’all! I’m a day fresh off the Academy Awards, and I’ve let it all soak in. We witnessed history (Ellen made the most retweeted tweet in history), triumph (You go Lupita!!!), and failure (Who the heck is Adele Dazeem?!). As always, the dresses were amazin’ and Leonardo DiCaprio left empty handed, but how was the show overall?

Well, MyMusicians, I’ve made my opinions into a nice little superlative sheet that’s just so gosh darn easy to follow, you won’t even need to watch the show. Y’all ready?

BEST SPEECH

Jared Leto

Oh my goodness! Besides his amazing hair, this speech had me chokin’ up, especially when he talked about his mom! You deserved it, Jared!!!!

BEST PHOTO

Most retweeted tweet of all time. Nuff said.

BEST HOST

Well. She was the only host, but hey, she was great, y’all!!

MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT

Adele Da-who? John Travolta makin’ a travesty out of Idina Menzel’s name has to go down as one of the most embarrassing moments of John Travolta’s career right behind Old Dogs

BEST SONG PERFORMANCE

Who can’t feel happy after watchin’ this performance, and seein’ Meryl Streep gettin’ down!

“EMPTY HANDS OF THE NIGHT” AWARD

Poor Leo. Sigh, you’ve gotta feel bad for him after gettin’ so many nominations and STILL no win. However, American Hustle is right up there with him after coming home with bagel even after 10 NOMINATIONS.

“FULL HANDS OF THE NIGHT” AWARD

Seven wins. Yup. No one in the technical departments could take on this behemoth. I’m surprised that space didn’t get an Oscar win from this as well.