PARIS HILTON PROMISES TO DESTROY MUSIC

Paris Hilton is at it again! Normally this type of news disinterests me almost immediately, but I couldn’t hold myself back this time. Paris Hilton, hot off her latest awful single which you can attempt to listen to below (pardon the lewd language. Where’s a censor when you need it?! Sheesh!), has begun to spill details about her forthcoming album. It’s supposedly a fusion of electro-pop and hip-hop, catering to Paris’ idea that she wants to write songs people can relate to. Of course, Paris! Let me relate to your music once I’m able to afford a 4 million dollar yacht, thousands of dollars worth of jewelry, and a mansion out in the heart of LA. No thank you! I’d rather invest my money wisely.

What angers me even more is that she comes from a very proud lineage that she’s completely disregarding. Her grandfather, Conrad Hilton, founded the terrific Hilton Hotels. Who wouldn’t want to work with such an accredited institution? Two words. Paris Hilton.

I only managed to get through one minute of the video above before I couldn’t handle any more. The lewd gestures, the preposterous lyrics, the visions of DJ Elephant’s visit to the office. It was all a bit too much. Word of advice to Ms. Hilton, kindly remove yourself from the microphone, put some clothes on, and put that work ethic to some good, which consists of everywhere but in front of a camera.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?