December should be the greatest month of the year. It’s cold, gets dark early, and it’s the month Ozzy Osbourne was born. Actually, it just so happens today is Ozzy’s birthday, so let’s all give a big HELL YEAH to the Prince of Darkness!

Another dude also happens to have a birthday in December. He goes by the name of Jesus, and I happen to be a fan. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, “Metal, how can you  like Jesus and Satan?” Well first of all, as usual,  I don’t care what you think. And second, after the whole poker debacle, Satan and I aren’t on the best of terms.

Jesus, however, could turn water into wine, which is pretty cool (although turning water into apple juice would be even cooler) and he rocked a sick beard. So why does a guy who kicked so much ass inspire so much crappy music?

Now that Black Friday’s over and the holiday season has officially begun, we’re forced to endure an endless barrage of terrible Christmas music. The same awful songs are repeated year after year after year after year. Worse, you can’t escape them: TV, radio, on the streets, in stores, Christmas music is everywhere.

It’s basically one of the lamest yet most infectious viruses around. Even Ozzy isn’t immune.

Garbage like that makes me wish I was a bear. If only I could grab a pile of food and hang out in a cave until this madness ends. Actually, that’s not a bad idea. Somebody find me a grizzly!

Is Metal being a Grinch or do you share his hatred for Christmas music? Let us know in the comments below!